Parenting Support

Struggling with your Mental Health? Second Step: Putting Mental Health First Bath and North East Somerset (BANES) Floating Support is short to medium-term service for people with mental health problems who are either finding it difficult to manage their tenancy and could be at risk of losing their home or are moving into a new tenancy and need support to do this. In a nutshell they provide support for people who have housing and mental health needs. They don’t need a diagnosis, it can be undiagnosed anxiety or depression. They can then support people to access the healthcare support they need. They also provide support with housing issues such as rent arrears, repairs, or a breakdown in communication between landlord and tenant. It’s all fully funded so no cost to the individual. https://www.second-step.co.uk/our-services/community-and-wellbeing/floating-support-bath-and-north-east-somerset/ They can help you to: Manage your tenancy Access mental health services Find support following trauma Connect with community networks Self-referrals accepted.

These Brownie rules look like they've been designed in retrospect. 😃 I'd switch out the negatives for positive alternatives.

Affection - it's important. parentinghub.co.uk

Yelling at your child can seem like the only way to get them to do as they've been asked. I do understand. When nothing else works, you know this probably will. But, I'm sure you don't feel good about doing it, and your children certainly won't enjoy it. It can lead to resentment and bigger problems down the line. On our Triple P course we explore a range of positive, effective strategies that you can use instead of shouting that really do work. Try, setting these steps (although you'd do better to do the course to get the detail)... 1. set clear expectations beforehand in a positive way. 2. praise when they do as they're asked 3. raise the rule / expectation early on when things are working 4. give clear instructions 5. follow through in a consequence that is doable, reasonable and will help them learn a better way. Sign up to a course here: https://parentinghub.co.uk/contact/register

I highly recommend to all parents to do some research into using PACE as part of the way you interact with your children. It's a game-changer. Look for Dan Hughes, DDP, PACE

If you want to get a really good understanding of how to use PACE - Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity and Empathy, I recommend checking out Dan Hughes' videos across the internet. Here's him introducing PACE.

I like this poem because it reminds us a) labels aren't helpful often, even the positive ones, and b) children can feel such pressure to be what's expected of them... Just Jack - Janthea Brigden “Pick it up, Put it there”, “Good boy” “Aren’t you clever?” “You’re silly” “You’re naughty!” “You’re sensible never!” “You’re tidy, you’re helpful” “You’re nothing but bad!” Grown-ups seem so muddled, It makes me feel sad. I just do things - Why can’t they see? I’m Jack, I’m a boy, AND I like being ME! “Go to bed, you’re tired”, “You’re happy, you’re cross” “You’re feeling upset”, “You knew you weren’t lost!” “You always eat pudding” “You’ve never liked jam”. How do they know all these things that I am? I feel lots of feelings that they never see. I’m Jack, I’m a boy And I like being ME! “You’re screaming!” “You’re shouting!” “You’re quiet, what’s wrong?” “Stop Pushing” “Keep moving”, “You’re taking too long!” “Smile! This is fun!” “What did you do?” Oh Mum I’m just learning to grow up, like you. Being “good” is so hard, It keeps changing you see, I’m Jack, I’m a boy, And I wish you’d love ME!

You're not alone. You may think that the situations you find yourself in are unique to your family, however, when you spend time sharing your experiences with other parents on one of our courses, you'll find you're not alone - and to some extent we're all in the same boat. We've got one or two spaces left on our short course starting mid April. If you're interested in finding out more, get in touch. https://parentinghub.co.uk

I learnt a really powerful trick a few weeks ago about how to introduce a consequence in such a way that it goes down as well as it could, is pallatable, avoids a meltdown and is so positive and helpful to your child you'll find yourself using it as often as you can... It's a technique demonstrated by Dan Hughes (DDP). Here's an overview. If you want to know more or sign up to a course where we can get much more into this kind of thing, check our our website and get in touch.

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Let's take an example of your child leaving their toys all over the house and not tidying them up when asked. You might be tempted to threaten to take them away for a long time or even give them away. Try this... "I can see that tidying up your toys is not something you're finding easy to do, or perhaps you just really don't like doing it because it's the least fun thing you could imagine doing. I get that. It is important though that we tidy up, so to help you learn that skill, I'm going to put some of these toys into temporary storage and over the next few days I want to see you practising your tidying up with your other toys, then we'll start getting some of the others back out once you've shown you can do it. And if you like, we can have a reward chart to track your success as you get better at it, with a reward when you reach a target. How does that sound?"

I've recently completed some excellent training on using PACE with families. I can't recommend highly enough this approach for parents to use with your children. It calms, eases, smooths and regulates. Not only that your children will feel heard, understood and connected with you. Get in touch if you'd like to know more, Google it, or search Dan Hughes - PACE.